DISENCHANTED

Kalian semua ibaratkan hidup dalam sesuatu sinetron iya? Sudah pasti. Dusta itu boleh dikaitkan sama mutiara, betapa indah dan sesungguhnya direbut ramai. Jika kalian hanya ucapkan kata-kata berdusta dan kian asyik saling membohongi , maka bukankah cerpen yang telah kalian mencipta menjadi sebuah cara hidup? adakah silap untuk aku katakan bahawa kalian haruslah menganjakkan paradigma, dan mengekalkan dasar maruah masing-masing? aku fikirkan tidak juga. 

Anyways, no love lost. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. No, not AGM. Not Geylang either. I want to get to town. In the words of Denise, “I’ve not been to town in 10 million years!” And I don’t know what to wear. ZOMGGGGG!  Can I have a Screaming Orgasm? pleaseeeeeeee. Must enjoy tomorrow! I don’t care! 

Maybe, we all need to contract cancer a little earlier than we thought.

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead, 
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed, 
I’ve been lonely for so long, 
Trapped in the past, 
I just can’t seem to move on.

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away, 
Just in case I ever need them again someday, 
I’ve been setting aside time, 
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind. 

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine, 
I’ve been searching but i just don’t see the signs, 
I know that it’s out there,
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere. 

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light, 
Not somebody just to get me through the night, 
I could use some direction, 
And I’m open to your suggestions. 

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real 
Or if anybody feels the way I feel 
I need inspiration 
Not just another negotiation 

its like beauty and the beast

It spells LOVE too.

 

Just because we're retards, doesn't mean we don't have fun!

retard baby.

I realize I’ve got lots of retarded moments with my friends. HEEHEE! There’s this song by the Moldy Peaches, it’s so damn cute.

You’re a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you’re back is the latest trend

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body’s swinging from side to side

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can’t, you forgive me?

“Up up down down left right left right B A start”
Just because we use cheats doesn’t mean we’re not smart

You are always trying to keep it real
I’m in love with how you feel

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage

Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants

I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Hari Raya is around the corner. While I’m looking forward to it, there’s still a part of me that dreads it. Every festive season isn’t very ‘festive’ for me. But thats OK! Its not a complete failure if there’s still at least something to look forward to. 

I want to watch MAMMA MIA! It looks damn good. And House Bunny. And My best friend’s girl.

One morning, the doctor notices that the dark kidney shaped stone has disappeared from her desk. And she knows: it will not be coming back.

Miro Moreira and whoever.

I couldn't help myself:)

I think his tattoo is damn rad and sexy. 

I’ve got something to share, Karen Neo is scared of the dark! Kyra makes me hungry! And Pan is hooked onto instant microwaveable food stuff. SOSOSOSO, after training, we went to Al-Ameen to grab a bite. It took forever for the drinks to come I tell you! I’m Brazilian today, like Miro. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!?! Anyhoots, we went to Island Creamery after that and in the words of Karenn “IT’S SO GOOD…” AND she made us walk. Alot… AND, Singaporeans just love to stop and stare at my endless legs. AND aunties love love love to step on my foot. There’s this lady who actually stood so close to our table. I mean, geez, I know it’s packed and we’re leaving but… I NEED MY SPACE GURLFWENNZXZXZXZX! We found out that the toilet at Serene Center is kickass. And I found out that Kyra has memorised the intructions for all instant food stuff. The girl just lovesssssss Cold Storage! Oh, we cabbed home. Because we were all on the verge of suicide. And, world piss. Anyways, I asked my mum to cook cuz Kyra made me hungry. Can you tell I’m shifting the blame to make myself feel better! HEEHEE!!!

PSSSSST, I think Tryouts are overated.

Do you still think we are best friends?

 I finally know how to upload photos, shuttup you.

How do I put this, take a look at the photo. We drew it ourselves. The words aren’t perfect, the hearts are differently sized. The whole photo is made up of imperfections. And its these imperfections that make them beautiful. What makes you different, makes you beautiful. We’re happy as long as you’re happy Nad. Just know that, we miss you.

We share a special connection, you and I.

I love my best friends and this girl who is with me almost everywhere i go. The love we share is colourful, and different.

“Friends Forever”, you promised.
“Together till the end.”
We did everything with each other.
You were my best friend.

When I was sad, you were by my side.
When I was scared, you felt my fear.
You were my best support -
If I needed you, you were there.

You were the greatest friend.
You always knew what to say:
You made everything seem better.
As long as we had each other,
Everything would be okay.

But somehow along the line,
We slowly came apart.
I was here, you were there,
It tore a hole in my heart.

Things were changing,
Our cheerful music reversed its tune.
It was like salt without pepper,
A sun without its moon.

Suddenly, we were miles apart,
Different people, with nothing the same.
It was as if we hadn’t been friends;
Although we knew deep in our hearts
Neither one of us was to blame.

You had made many new friends
And luckily, so had I.
But that didn’t change the hurt-
The loss of our friendship made me cry.

As we grew older, things must change.
But they don’t always have to end.
Even though it is different, now,
You will always be my friend.

Sometimes I guess, we’re too caught up in our own reality. The memories of our distant past are ebbing away, like the remnants of amber after a blast of fireworks. And just like those fireworks, our friendship’s colourful, loud, exuberant, nothing short of the ordinary. And just like those fireworks, our friendship lasted for just that moment. I thought something so bedazzling would somehow be imprinted on our minds, in our hearts. Maybe, we’re too preoccupied in our own reality. It’s like we’re all submerged beneath layers and layers of fond hugs, somehow wanting to break free but at the same time… too busy. I hope you’re not too busy running your whole lives to the ground, because I’m lost, and I don’t know the way out of a maze I’ve created subconsciously. I can’t explain this headache, this heart bleed. Just promise me you won’t leave and you’ll come back, soon enough.

I know all of us are occupied. We all have our families, our love lives. Geez, and we’re not even married. I do wonder if you’d miss me if I died tomorrow? Do you think of me the way I think of you? Do you remember me in your sweetest dreams? Do you love me the way I, you? Do you know that I still think about you guys. Do you know that I’m still missing you, especially now that you guys are faraway. I’ve got to find a way to stop myself from thinking of you. I need to find a way to stop you from falling into my mind. I’ve got to find a way to stop myself from thinking.

Cheers to everlasting friendship, or so we said.

Well, that’s that. Somehow I don’t feel that my life is lacking anything. Not yet luh. I’ve got some pretty amazing company and I really appreciate that.